What is the fantasy self?
The fantasy self is the aspirational version of yourself. This is the person you want to be and how you want others to perceive you.
In your closet, these fantasy self purchases are those items you picked up along the way that spoke to you but are outliers in comparison to the rest of your wardrobe and/or lifestyle.
First, we will get into the positives of embracing your fantasy self and how to integrate those purchases into your closet successfully. Next, we will discuss the ugly side of the fantasy self and how to declutter those pesky items from your life. First up…
The positives of the fantasy self
If you change nothing,
then nothing will change.
Your fantasy self purchases can push you out of your comfort zone, lead to self discovery, and bring about style evolutions. We are ever evolving, and embracing our fantasy self can be a useful tool to enact change.
How to make sure you are buying into a positive fantasy self
- Hone in on the change you are longing for. Once you have determined that aspiration, then you have a better understanding as to why you want that item in the first place.
For example, during one of my Pinterest sessions, I came across a picture of an ever-so-chic Italian woman, wearing a flowy top with high-waisted pants and a scarf gently tied around her head, riding a bike down a cobblestone street. I wanted to look as good as she did! And after some rumination, I came to realize, it wasn’t that I wanted to copy her outfit, it was that I wanted to dress more elegantly (especially in the summer where my jean shorts reign supreme).
- Next, think about the action that comes with the item and if it is something you are willing to adopt.
To continue with the example from above, in order to look as chic as that woman, I needed to put away the jean shorts and make a conscious effort to introduce some elegant pieces to my closet. And with that, I bought some white linen high-waisted pants and guess what, it worked.
The goal is to turn your fantasy self into a reality, and the items you buy are the tools to get you there.
When you are unsure if the fantasy is realistic, tap into your words from the 3 word method. I find that 1 or 2 of your style keywords should focus around your personality or values to keep true to yourself.
The negatives of the fantasy self
Now, let’s get into the nitty-gritty. Holding onto our fantasy self stuff isn’t fair to our real selves if it is making us feel bad!
What I mean by this is that if your fantasy purchases don’t motivate to change, but instead bring an odd tension into our closets, then it might be time to rid yourself of those items.
How to declutter the fantasy self
Firstly, this process takes time! Sometimes we need to give an item a chance before giving it the boot.
When going through a fantasy self declutter, keep these tips in mind.
- I recommend throwing your fantasy items into one section.
- Put them in eye line with the rest of your wardrobe so that they are on your radar.
- From here, you have the option to continue to play around with those items or if you keep saying no to them, then you can be confident that you are ready to part ways.
It is okay and encouraged to let go of the fantasy self when it is no longer serving you!
And with that my friends, is what the fantasy self is, why it could be ruining your style, and how to use it wisely so that you are not burdened later down the line.
Until next time,
Dre